The Stork and I

S4: E5 Single Parent Rights

In todays episode I speak to Ruth, a single mum who works in the charity sector. She has two young boys who she has raised solo since her eldest was six months old. Her first was conceived through marriage, and the second via donor conception.

Ruth has been writing about single parenting for over six years on her blog Ellamental Mama, trying to raise understanding of the realities faced by single parents - the good, bad and the ugly.

Her writing has been featured in The Guardian, The I Paper and The Metro, amongst others.

In 2020, Ruth set up the Single Parent Rights campaign to push for changes to UK law to address the ongoing discrimination of single parents after helping to lobby for the introduction of single parent support bubbles in the first UK lockdown.    

In todays episode we discuss: 

- The decision to have a second child using donor conception

- Talking to your children about their conception

- First hand experience of becoming a parent in a relationship and then becoming a parent outside of a relationship

- Why its not always better to have a partner

- Getting single parents included in the Equality Act

- Examples of discrimination against single parents

- How to get involved with Single Parent Rights

and much more!

You can see more of Ruth on Instagram on @ellamental_mama and @singleparentrights

S4: E4 Using an Au Pair as part of your support network

In todays episode I chat to Sophy. 

Sophy is 36 and lives in South Oxfordshire with her 3 year old twins. She started the journey to solo motherhood at 31 after receiving the results of a fertility test she took. 

Sophy got 2 eggs from her treatment, transferred them both and now has twin girls. 

 

In this episode we cover: 

- The decision to transfer 2 embryos

- Solo parenting twins

- Using an au pair to form part of your support network

- Freelancing as a solo parent

- Dating as a solo parent

and much, much more!

 

Update:

If you live in the UK, finding an au pair is much more challenging now that EU citizens cant get to the UK without a work VISA. Au pairing does not count as work but its also not a holiday, so its sadly got a lot more complicated.

S4: E3 Thoughts on being donor conceived

In today's episode I speak to Emma, 25, from Denmark who is donor conceived. 

Emma was born using an anonymous donor. She has a mum and a dad and 2 sisters. 

She started a blog 3 years ago where she shares her thoughts and experiences on being donor conceived.

 

In this episode we cover:

 

- The importance of how our children's conception story is shared with them

- Why Emma decided to start @donorchild Instagram account

- Why it can be helpful for our children to hear their conception story from birth

- How being donor conceived can make you feel 

- Having siblings who are not donor conceived when you are

- The importance of honesty from the very beginning

- Why Emma hasn't had an interest in finding more out about her donor or any potential half siblings

- A different perspective on using an anonymous donor

- Donor siblings and when and if to try to find them

- Advice for those considering solo motherhood

 

You can find her at:

 

Instagram: @donorchild

Blog: https://donorchildemmagroenbaek.com/

Book: Donor Child: A Child of Love

 

 

 

 

 

 

S4: E2 Managing your finances as a solo parent

In today's episode of the podcast I chat to George Agan. George is a Chartered Financial Planner. He runs Principles Personal Finance which is a financial education site. He also has his own YouTube channel. 

 

I often get questions about finances from people who contact me and I didn't used to feel properly equipped to answer in depth enough, and this episode helps to provide some further clarity.  

 

In todays episode we covered: 

 

- The cost estimate of having children

- How to bring clarity to your own financial situation

- Adopting a renting methodology to save money (and the environment)

- What amount of savings you might need to feel secure

- What levers you have available to help manage your budget

- How you can get creative to help your budget

- Why planning is everything

- How to plan for the worst case scenario 

- The importance of Power of Attorney and having a will

- The 3 golden rules of personal finance

 

RISK WARNING 

The views stated in this discussion are for informational and education purposes and should not be viewed as advice. The information provided in this presentation has been compiled from sources believed to be reliable and current, but accuracy should be placed in the context of the underlying assumptions. Any views stated are individual.

 

All content is being provided for informational purposes only and should not be considered to be investment or tax advice. No financial or investment decisions should be made solely based on the information in any podcast, blog or video.

 

Some of the useful links we covered in the podcast are below: 

 

 

General Support and Advice

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/

 

Benefit Entitlement Contacts

https://www.gov.uk/benefits-calculators

https://www.entitledto.co.uk/

https://www.turn2us.org.uk/

 

Charities for Housing Concerns

https://www.shelter.org.uk/

 

Charities for Debt Management

https://www.stepchange.org/

https://capuk.org/

 

List of some benefits single parents should be aware of

https://www.singleparents.org.uk/information/benefits/financial-support-for-single-parents

https://www.gov.uk/get-tax-free-childcare

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/child-benefit/

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/tax-credit-child-working-overpayment/

 

Study referred to in the conversation

https://cpag.org.uk/sites/default/files/files/policypost/CostofaChild2020_web.pdf

S4: E1 Talking to our children about their conception with Sarah Sproule

Welcome to episode 1 of the 4th series of The Stork and I Podcast

In this episode I chat to Occupational Therapist and Sex Educator, Sarah Sproule.

When Sarah was 11 she was afraid she was only growing one breast and didn’t know who to turn to for help. 

 

Now as mother of three teens, with two decades experience as a therapist and a masters in sexuality studies, Sarah uses her skills as an occupational therapist and sex educator to ensure every parent and caring adult knows how to build deeper connection with their growing kid(s). 

 

Because no child should ever feel alone and unable to reach out for help with their body, their boundaries or their knowledge about sexuality. 

 

… and yes Sarah eventually grew two breasts roughly the same size.

 

As solo parents, it is our responsibility to talk to our children about their conception and to ensure to the best of our ability that they understand and feel comfortable and confident discussing it. I talk to Sarah about getting some hints and tips on how to best have these conversations. 

 

In this episode we cover: 

 

- Why we have anxiety about talking about these topics with our children

- Why our reactions to our kids questions are so important

- Why starting talking to our children from birth can be a benefit

- Why it is important to use the correct anatomical words

- Seed vs sperm which language to use

- How to have conversations about conception with our children

 

and much much more. 

 

You can find out more information from Sarah's instagram account: 

www.instagram.com/iamsarahsproule/

 

Her YouTube Podcast: 

https://www.youtube.com/c/sarahsproule

 

She also holds a free mini series www.sarahsproule.com/explain

 

 

 

 

Series 4 Trailer

The wait is finally over. The Stork and I Podcast for those considering solo parenthood is back!

Series 4 of the podcast is launching on 1st September 2021. 

Subscribe now so you don't miss out!

S3: 10 Using a known donor to become a solo mum

In todays episode I chat to Joscelyn Webb, solo mum to a nearly 4 year old son. Joscelyn lives in Hong Kong and travelled to the UK for treatment using a known donor.

 

In this episode we cover: 

- Making the decision to start trying to conceive following fertility test results

- Deciding on using a known donor

- Contacting potential known donors to ask if they would be interested in being a donor

- Grieving for the path to parenthood we presumed we would follow

- The benefits of parenting solo

- Flying back to the UK for treatment

- Male role models 

- The discussions and agreements made with a known donor before trying to conceive

- Being aware that things might change and being open to that

- Talking to our children about their conception

and much more...

 

 

 

S3: 9 Being a freelance solo mum

In todays podcast I chat to solo mum, freelancer and author Kate Sawyer. 

Kate has an 18 month old daughter and has just had her first book, The Stranding, published. We discuss how Kate has made freelancing work for her, as a solo mum. 

 

In todays episode we cover: 

 

- Making sacrifices in order to save money for becoming a solo mum

- Writing a book during pregnancy

- Being creative with finances to save as much money as possible

- Moving out of London to be closer to family

- The importance of having a good support system in place

- Getting treatment in Denmark

- Top tips for making freelance work for you when pursuing solo motherhood

 

....and much more!

 

You can follow Kate on Instagram at @mskatesawyer and you can get her book from Amazon and many other book shops. 

S3: 8 Travelling as a solo mum

In todays episode I chat to Natalie. 

Natalie is an avid traveller and a solo mum to 2.5 year old Tiger. She chats to me about using her maternity leave to spend time travelling with her daughter.

In this episode we discuss: 

- Meeting someone in our lives who inspires us to travel

- Becoming a solo mother when you have a boyfriend

- Egg freezing and being an egg donor

- Getting treatment abroad

- Experiencing numerous treatment cycles

- Navigating solo motherhood with a partner

- Preparation and logistics for travel during maternity and the things to consider and plan for

- Maximising annual leave for travel when you're back at work

- The differences travelling with a baby and a toddler

 

and much much more!

 

To find out more about Natalie and Tigers travel adventures you can read her blog at www.tigerontour.com

 

 

S3: 7 Solo Mothers By Choice Support Groups

In todays episode I speak to Jenny Nash, solo mum to Dottie and the Founder of Solo Mothers By Choice UK Facebook Group. 

 

In this episode we cover: 

 

- Telling our grandparents about our decision

- Fertility education at school

- The advantages of freezing eggs in your 20s

- The importance of getting good sleep and what help is available

- The experiences of having 3 generations in one house

- The importance of having a solo mum support network

- Finding donor siblings

- The experience of deciding to try for a sibling

- Advice for people at the beginning of the journey

 

and much more!

 

You can follow Jenny on Instagram @dottie_about_you

You can find Solo Mothers By Choice UK on Facebook

 

You can also join The Stork and I Mum Tribe Facebook Group if you haven't already.