The Stork and I

Reimagining black British solo motherhood with Emmie

In episode 8 I chat to pregnant solo mum to be Emmie, an educator and business woman, seeking to reimagine Black British solo motherhood. 

 

Emmie kindly helped me out when I was doing some work to ensure that my coaching was inclusive for black solo mums and after chatting to her, I asked if she'd be a guest on the podcast to share her story and I was delighted when she agreed! 

 

In this episode we cover: 

 

- The support you can get from solo mum groups and being a 'lurker' in the group!

- Realising that IVF is not a guarantee to having a baby

- Being pregnant in a pandemic

- How Emmies hairdresser played a part in her decision to take this route to motherhood!

- Letting go of your original plan for your route to motherhood

- Getting a fertility MOT

- The lack of fertility education and conversations with our friends about fertility

- The nuances of embarking on solo motherhood as a black women

- The negative perception of single mums by the media

- How the support of our parents can make the process much easier

- How our grandparents can surprise us with their reactions to us becoming a solo mums

 

and lot's more! 

 

You can follow Emmie on Instagram at @black_solo_motherhood

Spermcast with Molly Hawkey

In episode 7 of the podcast I meet Molly Hawkey. 

 

Molly is an American actress and comedian. She is also the creator of the podcast Spermcast, documenting her search for a sperm donor in order to have a baby solo. 

 

In this episode we discuss: 

- An overview of Mollys own fertility journey to date 

- Why Molly started her podcast and how it has helped her

- The difficulties of dating when you want a baby

- The benefits of talking about your situation with friends and family (or in Mollys case an entire podcast population!)

- How our reality is not well represented in films

- Whether we are realistic about what we are looking for, or if it is a bit of a fantasy

- Being supported by friends and family on the trying to conceive journey

- Being happy and hopeful about the situation, whilst still dreaming about the fantasy version

- How each decision seems harder in the moment

 

and much more!

 

Molly actually has some super exciting news that she is 7 weeks pregnant following her latest fertility treatment. (This episode was recorded quite a few weeks ago, so we don't discuss this) 

You can hear about this latest news as well as her entire journey leading up to this point on Spermcast. Head over and check it out (once you've listened to this episode obviously!!) 

 

I have also been a guest on Spermcast, so if you haven't had a listen, the episode is called Molly, Mel and The Stork and I.

 

You can follow Molly on Instagram 

Fertility Education with Professor Joyce Harper

In this episode I chat to Professor Joyce Harper, Professor of Reproductive Science at the Institute for Women’s Health, University College London. She is also Director of Education at the IfWH, Director of the Centre for Human Reproduction, co-founder of the UK Fertility Education Initiative and Founder of the International Fertility Education Initiative. 

 

I met Joyce at the Fertility Fest last year and have been a fan of her work ever since. She has worked in the fields of fertility, genetics, reproductive health and women’s health for over 30 years and shares so many interesting facts in this episode. 

 

In this episode we discuss: 

- Joyce's personal fertility journey to have her children

- Fertility Education and the book Joyce is currently writing about The Fertile Years

- The UK Fertility Education Initiative and getting fertility on the UK national curriculum 

- The fact that we can no longer accurately use the term 2.4 children due to the change in the current statistics

- Egg freezing, the legislation surrounding it and why you might want to consider embryo freezing as an alternative

- Why you might not want to wait for the right man to come along after age 35 if you definitely want children

- The 9 point fertility education poster being shared worldwide

- The importance of understanding our menstrual cycle

- Why women in the media getting pregnant in their late 40s and 50s can be quite misleading

- The research that has been carried out on solo motherhood and how to share donor conception with donor conceived children

 

And lot's more!

 

I don't want the details shared to scare anyone, but feel it is important to get these fertility facts out there. If anyone feels anxious about what they have heard, please feel free to reach out to me. 

 

You can find out more about Joyce and her work on her website. 

You can also follow her on Instagram and Twitter

 

Be sure to subscribe on your favourite podcast player to ensure you don't miss an episode!

 

Changing the narrative around single women with Nicola Slawson

In this episode I speak to Nicola Slawson. A freelance journalist who writes a newsletter, The Single Supplement, changing the narrative around being single. 

Nicola is 35 and happily single. She is considering solo motherhood as a possible option for the future. 

 

In this episode we talk about:

 

- Why the pandemic made some of us feel more single than ever

- How Nicola set up her newsletter The Single Supplement to change the narrative around single people

- The advantages of pausing dating to focus on self work

- Realising we might be commitment phobes!

- Juggling work and dating

- The preference for meeting people in real life as opposed to internet dating

- Feeling empowered that solo motherhood is a real option available to us

- Feeling inspired about this route to motherhood based on reading others inspiring stories

 

You can follow Nicola at:

Instagram: @thesinglesupplement

Newletter:  https://thesinglesupplement.substack.com/

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thesinglesupplement/

Deciding on solo motherhood with Claire

In episode 4 I meet Claire. Solo mum of gorgeous 1 year old Ruby. 

Claire and I met at a solo mum meet up and became friends. We spent last Valentines Day together with our kids and some other solo mum friends (in the same pub Max George from The Wanted but that's another story!) We spent most Wednesday evenings together via Zoom during lock down on The Stork and I Solo Mum Calls. I love Claires banter so I knew she'd be a great guest on the podcast. She loves to tell it as it is! 

 

In this episode we discuss: 

- Deciding between IUI and IVF

- The pressure of dating when you want a baby 

- Sharing the journey with family

- Planning for every eventuality

- Building a support network including overnight sleep support throughout the first 4 months

- An honest account of the elements Claire has found challenging being a solo mum 

- Finding a night a month to go out for a bit of a blow out

- Creative dates to fit in with childcare

- Fertility tests and their role in helping to make a decision to start the journey to solo motherhood

- Our views on whether we would have found parenting with a partner any easier than parenting solo

 

You can follow Claire on Instagram @clairesofield

I hope you enjoy the episode. Mel xx

Natazsas solo motherhood journey

In Episode 3 I speak to Natasza AKA @me_becomes_we. Natasza is a solo mum by choice to a toddler and is currently trying for baby number 2. 

 

Natasza had a 5 year fertility journey where she experienced recurrent loss. In this episode we do not cover the details of that element of her experiences as we focus on the subject of making the initial decision to start the journey. 

 

In this episode we cover: 

- The power of the Solo Mum Community

- We talk about Natasza's journey which involves recurrent loss and how she dealt with that with the support of her friends and family

- Egg freezing vs solo motherhood

- Investigating options for solo motherhood

- Dating challenges and assessing whether our internet date would make a good dad after meeting them for 30 seconds!

- Feeling empowered by removing the time pressure

- Throwing a 'Who's The Daddy' party

- Getting the grandparents on board

- Hopes for the future and trying for baby number 2

 

You can follow Natasza's journey on Instagram at @me_becomes_we

 

She has also written more about her experience of dealing with recurrent loss here. 

Going Solo with Genevieve Roberts

In Episode 2, I meet Genevieve Roberts, solo mum of 2 and author of 'Going Solo: My Choice to Become a Single Mother Using a Donor'

 

I met Genevieve at The Fertility Show in 2019 where I heard her read an extract from her book and it gave me goosebumps as I heard her speak. So much of what she said resonated with me and my own experiences. 

 

Gen regularly shares her experiences and views on solo motherhood through her work as a journalist, writing for a variety of publications.

 

In this episode we cover: 

 

- Fertility tests as a trigger to make the decision to go solo 

- Dating and flirtations whilst wanting a baby

- The concept of not settling

- Being proud of your decision

- The amazing reactions from friends and family

- Challenging the traditional family set up 

- Hopes and practicalities of meeting a partner in the future

 

I highly recommend Going Solo for anyone who is considering solo motherhood. It's a great mix of Genevieve's personal experience and interviews on the subject with a number of experts. 

Mothering solo with Jocelyn @motheringsolo

Welcome to The Stork and I Podcast. This is a podcast aimed at single women considering solo motherhood. 

In this first episode I meet the lovely Jocelyn AKA @motheringsolo

We chat donor conception with double donation, dating when you want a baby, fertility MOTs and making the decision to start the journey to solo motherhood. 

You can follow Jocelyn's story on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/motheringsolo/

If you like this episode, please rate and review keep your eyes peeled for the next one, out every Wednesday. 

 

 

The Stork and I Podcast, for single women considering solo motherhood

The trailer for The Stork and I Podcast for single women considering solo motherhood